DOES a 16-year-old boy or girl have the right to have sex or not? Based on the recent Union cabinet move to raise the “legal” age of sex from 16 to 18, the answer is no. The move to criminalise sexual activity in youngsters below 18 has forced everyone to sit up and confront their dilemma over the issue of teenage sexuality and how to tackle it.
Many say the step to increase the legal age of sex is regressive, and represents a denial of the changing sexual climate. “Is the idea to create safety for teenagers or is it to police and control?” says counsellor Komal Mathur. Yet another group lauds the motion, saying it is the right way to preserve the morality of our society, which is being eroded by values that are intrinsically wrong for us Indians.
Whatever the stand, there’s no escaping the fact that the issue of teenage sexuality is laden, and debating the “legal” age is one way of getting away from solving the real problem: “Focusing on the legal aspect of sexuality is short sighted, as adolescent sexuality is a complicated issue with social, emotional, medical, and demographic aspects,” says Dr Samir Parikh, Director, Department of Mental Health and Behavioural Sciences, Fortis Healthcare.
A TUMULTUOUS TIME
LET’S face it, the teenage years can be an emotional assault course for all concerned, as this is a time of rapid physical development combined with deep emotional changes. “ The dramatic changes of adolescence can be very worrying to some teenagers, especially to those who are shy and don't like to ask questions. At the other end of the scale, some express their concern with excessive bragging about sexual ability and experiences,” says Dr Sanjeev Kalra, Consultant Psychiatrist and Sexologist, VIMHANS, New Delhi.
It’s not surprising that teens are having sex much earlier than before, given the sort of messages and images they are exposed to in the media. Combine this with early puberty and you have an explosive scenario to contend with. What makes the situation even more combustible is that we really aren’t prepared for it: Educational institutions still don’t impart the kind of sex and life skills education that kids need and most parents haven’t overcome their own inhibitions around sexuality sufficiently enough to have “ the conversation” with their adolescent offspring.
Since adolescents tend to be more dependent on their parents and the process of individuation happens much later in our society, denial is the usual recourse of parents when they are confronted with the hard fact that their daughters or sons are sexually active. “Sexuality is seen by parents as an “adult” activity, and they are insecure about adolescent sexuality. Also, they fear the consequences their child may suffer, if he or she has sex with a person who’s ‘not right’, at a time that’s ‘not right’,” says Dr Parikh.
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